It’s been 9 months since I posted something here and a lot has happened, some good and some bad.
Let’s start with the girl I met. Uff, a beautiful Colombian girl, and god, could she dance (I still drool over it…and over her). It’s true that Colombian women are generally fun and a blast to be with. Unfortunately, it is also true that the dating culture is intense and infidelity, from my experience and from what I saw, is a part of the culture for both men and women. Of course, both sexes will preach their loyalty and, some like my ex-fiancee, even tattoo the word loyalty on their body. But if the others are like my ex then their loyalty is a characteristic of only one of their two personas. Their other persona is characterized in many popular Spanish love songs as “putting on the cachos” (songs by Bad Bunny, Jay Wheeler, and Maluma or look up specifically IMPOSIBLE by Blessd). Cachos literally means horns and gets its reference from devil horns. So, when your lady is putting on the cachos she’s putting on a different persona, one of the sexy, single, and “ready to mingle” type. The perplexing thing is that when she takes the cachos off it’s as if everything that happened while she had the cachos on is a faint and unimportant memory, that is if it’s remembered at all. It was in this way that my ex-fiancee was loyal but also a cheater, alter egos that never admitted the other existed. She cheated as if the cachos could be put on and off like clothes.
So, you can assume why we aren’t together anymore. But it wasn’t that she cheated once, nor because she cheated twice. But it was because she cheated on me with 4 or 5 different guys and lied about it, it’s the lying part where I feel the most betrayed. Especially because in the beginning, I wanted an open relationship but I became exclusive with her because she told me that was the only way I could have her. Anyways, you live and you learn and I don’t think I’ll be giving up polygamy for a girl again. I know that sounds off-putting and eccentric but just because the rules of a given relationship allow for another partner doesn’t mean another partner is actively searching for one. Or in other words, just because you have the freedom to do something doesn’t necessarily mean you will take your freedom to its limits. I just believe that it’s natural for men and women to sometimes desire love from someone else and that doesn’t always negate the love you have for a spouse or the ones you already love. Okay, okay, call it hedonistic, selfish, or unloving that’s fine. It’s definitely a different way of looking at it. Mind you, this is now coming from a man that was just cheated on many times, and, for me, it was the lies and betrayal that hurt, not the truth. To me, there is no love more superficial than a love full of lies and deceit. That is to say, if she was an honest lady, I’d probably still be with her.
Anyways, that happened and I’m glad we are no longer together. It was just a very complicated relationship due to geography, language, culture, and finances and I was too serious in a relationship far too complicated.
Also, one more thing I should note is that I gave up my cycling trip for her. You know, I’m trying to bike down to Argentina but I was giving all that up for her. I wanted to start a family and settle down with her; everything changed because of her. Sooooo, now you know why I haven’t been posting things anymore. haha But, god, let me say again, I’m glad the relationship with her is over. I’m reminded that my experience with her was just a stop on my journey, and how it happened was destined. Everything is just as it should be. My journey, as it always has been, is about meeting people, experiencing things, and learning. And that, I did. And for that, I’m grateful.
So since the breakup 3 months ago, I’ve been going through depression and even asked my doctor for help. So, he prescribed me Prozac, an antidepressant drug of the SSRI type. And that has surely helped my motivation and energy for life. Another motivation I have is this “fuck you” kind of vengeance. I told her when we broke up that, “losing me will be the worst mistake of your life” and when I said it, those weren’t just words. I want my success to haunt her for the rest of her life.
…as I said, those weren’t just words and that leads me to the business and product I just launched. Haha, It’s called the Backbone and this product supports the weight of a backpack a cyclist is wearing. I invited it first in Guatemala after going through the US and Mexico with a 44L hiking backpack and wanting to make my ride more enjoyable and comfortable. From Guatemala, I went down to 5 more countries to Panama, and then later to Colombia, all with the help of the Backbone. I thought that since the Backbone helped me so much by carrying the weight of my backpack it could help others too so I got patent lawyers and got to work creating a consumer version of the Backbone. Fabricating it happened pretty naturally in Colombia since I already made some prototypes down there for personal use. Like, the car body shop that helped me make a prototype recommended another workshop, where the Backbones are currently fabricated. And the welder there is quite literally a master welder after spending most of his working life welding bridges. So, they are welded there. Then, I take them to a powder coating shop 2 hours away in Barranquilla and then I bring them back here to ship out. But the Backbone version my fabricator and paint shop touched could in every way be called a different version than the one I have now… I mean, I made that many improvements on it these last 3 months since they touched it. Anyways, I still call it version 6 out of the 7 types I’ve made.
So, after spending nearly 2 years on this project and going through 7 versions I finally launched the first consumer-ready Backbone last week! If you want, you can check out what I’ve been working on here www.bikebackbone.com. I’m proud of what I’ve done but, as always, I welcome any critiques or blows to my ego.
So, that’s the latest with me. Thanks for reading. May the blogs continue! -Adam